Sick Again
Dumbfounded, I asked R why was it that I felt so
guilty about having to call my mother on Sunday and tell her that I am
sick and will not be able to see her this weekend. It's not like
I'm lying or anything, and she knows that her immune system can't risk
being around anyone that is ill. R had a valid point when he said
that it's because I have never truly been honest with her. It's
true, I don't tell her what's going on with my life, it's so much easier
that way. We have never gotten along when I would be honest with
her. I have been a disappointment to my parents since birth and
this is the first time ever that they are actually proud of me. I
used to be the black sheep and now my mother keeps a portrait she
painted of me above the fireplace so that she can see her "beautiful
daughter" while she spends most her time on a bed in the living
room. Things have changed and I guess with her being so ill and
with her time limited due to her illness I just want her to love me and
allow me to love her.
Despite my bad cold I took the goth receptionist to Quest book store tonight. I had her in the Christmas grab bag and she was thrilled when I had gotten her a deck of tarot cards. Quest is where I get all my tarot books and they have a wide range of authors and types of tarot books to choose from. When I was there I also picked up a few more tarot books but this time I felt my knowledge had moved on enough to buy a book solely on tarot reversals and also an advanced tarot teaching guide. This is my last week of going to the chiro three times a week. Starting next week is about 6 weeks of 2 times a week. I am excited, that everything is going as planned and that I can now drop down a day. My doctor also told me that I can go back to the gym but to start slowly. Only 10 min to start on the treadmill, no leg weights just yet and no machines that twist. Since I'm not feeling the best I think I will go back to the gym on Monday.
|
|
Journal index
|