Taking the first bus out of me  #162
February 26, 2004
 

This is it,
This is when it counts..
There is such a short window of opportunity
in which to catch yourself in.
Really
catch yourself in. 
I have been elusive for so long,
I keep myself company
I do it the best,
I have been doing it all my life
in one form or another
I am never alone
with me.
Insert anything (the excuse)
and watch me fail.
I am never balanced
I never lay flat or sit still.
I am so near the surface
I am a balloon tracing
the contour of the ceiling.

It's over, the window shrinks
to fit inside the pinch of my fingers
and I want to smooth myself over
like stones.
My skin crawls, my left eye twitches
and you are down to 112 pounds
and I need to fill the hole.
I need to forget that you're leaving me.
so instead I leave myself.