But I guess the Jokes on me, she said
Thursday  April 1, 2004

First off  WILCO DIED ...  How shitty is that!  Last night I noticed that she was all held up in her little outhouse all evening, when I tired to coax her out of it, she stumbled out shaking and barely opening her eyes with a ball of shit stuck to her ass. 

I was up above it, now I'm down in it....It's been a while since I have really been able to open up and write here.  I do it to myself.  I need to loosen up, often I feel that absolutely everything I write here has to meet some standard that I have set in my mind.  I don't even know what that standard is, but I know it's there.  I hate that about myself.  I'm too hard on myself, I'm not fun loving when it comes to me.

Highlight of the day
 was duck taping Mandy's combs and brushes to the underneath of her station counter and filling her supply drawer with plastic Easter eggs and sunflowers and putting a dirty nylon "footie" sock (you know the kind you put on to try on shoes) in my bosses station.  Also the best joke of the day was replacing  the VODKA from J's hidden stash kept in the nook by the water heater with WATER.  .. NICE. 

Effexor Update
I really don't know how I could have been so stupid to have taken it on an empty stomach for four days in a row.  After I realized what was making me sick I haven't been sick since.  I don't think that I feel that much different, it's only been about 11 days.  It's too early to say, I am still sleeping a lot!   I really am going to give this a shot and keep track of how it makes me feel. 

Photo by Cindy Sherman

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