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photo by Cindy Sherman

 

 

I need to get these chocolate eyeballs out of the house

"
Thursday September 2, 2004

 

 

 

I am never eating again.  With that said... what am I having for dinner... Ever feel this way?  I hate eating, and I love eating.  The last couple days I have been really examining my views of food and have discovered that they might just be a little more messed up then I thought.  I want so hard for this to be normal.  Just for one day I would love to not be infiltrated by these obsessive thoughts of eating and not eating.    My self worth teetering on how much I eat.  After a manic binge crashes I feel worthless, sick, nauseated, and scared.  Scared I won't be able to ever stop t his cycle.   I am determined to eat something small and sensible, something just enough so that I won't wake up in the middle of the night and binge, but enough that my anti depressant won't upset my stomach or give me a headache.  

It has come to my attention that even my wrist is fat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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