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Photo By Cindy Sherman
My Life in a nutshell:
No Whammies, No whammies, No Whammies
Stop!
Thursday June 24, 2004
2:30 A.M.
Two nights in a row now I am up at 2:30. Not sleeping well at all,
waking up in sweats and terrible sore throat. Last night the whole
situation hit me. Was up all night crying and worrying over the
whole thing. This morning when I woke up the sore throat went up into my
right ear and was causing an ear ache as well. I have myself
convinced that I will need surgery because of the pain, not to mention
with the research I have been doing everything has been saying that
along with the symptoms I have that I have a higher chance for
malignancy. I can't wait two months for my next doctors
appointment to see what's going on. Tomorrow I start calling
hospitals and asking about what provisions they make for charity care.
Early this morning I called one of my brothers and was
hysterically crying over the whole thing. He was a great help in
keeping me together all day at work. I have felt every alone in
this situation since I found out on Monday. The rest of my family
is on vacation and will be returning on Saturday. It will be nice
to have their support when they come home.
3:30 a.m.
Same as last night still can't sleep, read a little, joined a Live
Journal eating disorder community, wrote a couple emails. I am going to
try to lay down again and pray that I fall asleep. And while we
are on the subject I have to say that I did well today with my eating,
no binging at all, however I didn't drink enough fluids and I think I am
starting to lose some weight. Finally.
1:05 p.m.
I had a couple hour break at the salon so I came home to start calling
hospitals and charity services that might be able to help me in regards
to not having insurance. I got in touch with someone at the
hospital my Dr. is affiliated with and was given other numbers to
call. One was a financial counselor the other is called care match
that matches patients up with doctors. Now I am just waiting to
get a return call from someone.
9:23 p.m.
I did get a phone call back from the Hospital. They are mailing me
an application for me to fill out to see if I can be approved for some
sort of financial aid. I am not sure if I will get it or not.
He asked my yearly income last year and even though I made almost 10,000
less then the year before due to being off work with my ankle he said
that it's a close call if they will be able to help me out. I
don't understand this country. If I didn't work and was on welfare
everything would be paid for. If I was rich I could pay for it
myself. But being middle class sucks, It's like I'm being
penalized for being hard working but still average. Actually, I
think I make below average for the area I live and work in. The
other thing that blew me away is that he said that if I don't qualify for any financial aid that I could save 10 percent if I paid in
full at the time of the procedure. Now tell me, if I had the money
to pay for the procedure in full would I be calling and asking for
financial aid?
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