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Photo By Cindy Sherman
I am Trying
Friday June 25, 2004
5:32 p.m.
Home from work, relaxing a bit and trying to get myself motivated to go
to a party tonight that one of the girls from work is having.
I don't really know why I am so anti social most of the time.
I think the major anxiety about going tonight is the flack I will get
from everybody when I want to go home. I never stay long enough
for anybody, and all I want to do is stay long enough for me. Is
that being selfish? I don't know.
I stopped at the thrift store on my way home from work. I
don't think I have mentioned this before but it's my new addiction.
It's not uncommon for me to go there three times a week. I have
found some amazing stuff, and so now I literally get excited about
going. To me if feels like a treasure hunt.
Today I came home with a hand made piece of pottery from Mexico priced
at 50 cents and I literally freaked when I found a hard cover of Douglas
Coupland's Life After God for a dollar. I own the paperback
already and have read it, but now that I own the hardcover I plan on
giving the paperback to Melissa at work who I think is probably the only
really literary person I work with. It's odd because just last
week when she was over she was looking at my books and I showed her
specifically Life After God and told her that I thought she might enjoy
it. Now she will have her very own copy.
I am currently 3 days joy smoke free.
3 weeks cigarette free . My throat feels much better. I am
not having any pain when I swallow as of yesterday. All though I
have to say my throat still doesn't feel normal and hasn't for at least
a month. I have to really try to not smoke at all until I get this
lump checked out as smoking is causing major throat problems.
I also have been pretty good about eating healthy and going grocery
shopping every week is helping me bring something healthy to work
instead of ordering out all the time. I also have been grilling on
my balcony a lot lately.
11:05
Got home a little while ago. I lasted a bit longer then I thought
I would. I did get some grief about leaving when I did. Once
I would like to have a day when I didn't have any guilt. I ate too
much and even though I haven't really thought about it in years it
crossed my mind to purge. I won't, but it bothers me that I even
considered it.
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