Psychological Resume
Monday  March 8, 2004

I have really been getting into tea lately- Mandarin Orange Spice, Apple Cinnamon, chai, Rasberry Zinger.  My tea cravings have pretty much overshadowed my love of coffee, which is good for the time being as I was drinking so much coffee that I was getting really dehydrated.  Especially my skin.  I feel healthier drinking tea anyway. 

Today I am taking for myself.  I haven't had a day where I did what I needed to do for me since valentine's day and even on that day half the day I worked.  So today is it.  I will call my mother, but I will not be spending time with her today as I have been doing pretty much every weekend since Christmas. 

For the agenda this morning I am drinking tea, and finishing a book I have been reading called A million Little Pieces by James Frey.  I called and made a blood draw appointment for this afternoon and will be going to the bank this afternoon to open up a savings account.  Last night I was doing some reading on self injury. (*below taken from the self injury website) It was amazing how reading the common characteristics of self injurers is like reading my own psychological resume.  I have decided to open a savings account because I'm 34 and ashamed to say that I haven't really started to do anything about my future.  "Tend not to plan for the future" was on the list and I thought that would be the easiest trait to work on.  I have been meaning to do it, and saying I'm going to do it for years.  Well, I'm doing it today.  I have to start somewhere, so I dug out my change including my odd change, of half dollars, Susan B. Anthony dollars and 2 dollar bills left over from my waitressing days and, I'll throw that in savings as well.  I plan on putting 50 bucks away a week to start and see how that goes..

*Psychological characteristics common in self-injurers

The overall picture seems to be of people who:

• strongly dislike/invalidate themselves
• are hypersensitive to rejection
• are chronically angry, usually at themselves
• tend to suppress their anger
• have high levels of aggressive feelings, which they disapprove of strongly and often suppress or direct inward
• are more impulsive and more lacking in impulse control
• tend to act in accordance with their mood of the moment
• tend not to plan for the future
• are depressed and suicidal/self-destructive
• suffer chronic anxiety
• tend toward irritability
• do not see themselves as skilled at coping
• do not have a flexible repertoire of coping skills
• do not think they have much control over how/whether they cope with life
• tend to be avoidant
• do not see themselves as empowered

People who self-injure tend not to be able to regulate their emotions well, and there seems to be a biologically-based impulsivity. They tend to be somewhat aggressive and their mood at the time of the injurious acts is likely to be a greatly intensified version of a longstanding underlying mood, according to Herpertz (1995). Similar findings appear in Simeon et al. (1992); they found that two major emotional states most commonly present in self-injurers at the time of injury -- anger and anxiety -- also appeared as longstanding personality traits. Linehan (1993a) found that most self-injurers exhibit mood-dependent behavior, acting in accordance with the demands of their current feeling state rather than considering long-term desires and goals.

Identity
photo by Clarence John Laughlin
 

Progress
Regress

Journal index
Home

Email the Author
Join the Notify List